Relationship between husband and wife, mid-life crisis, and meditation

 

Marriage is not a contract between two partners, nor is it a passport to having sex. Marriage is a sacred union between two souls. You have to think that you are two friends with a common agenda.

 By Tarak Ghosh

Family means a garden of heaven where we live, share, and dream. Every person wants a peaceful, sweet home and a good bond with his or her family members. Every person dreams of such a home that gives him or her extra positive energy, and this energy helps them all live and work in peace. Uncomfortable feelings can be caused by strained relationships with family members.We lose our mental peace, and that affects our daily routine.

You are a genius if you can maintain a good relationship with your husband or wife and carry on with your conjugal life year after year. But remember, it’s not as easy as you think. If you are married, you know this well from your practical experiences in daily life. If you are a bachelor, you have to follow some rules to keep your post-marriage life safe and secure.

Remember three words that help you follow the rules: These words are--

1.    Transparency B. Optimism, and C. Sincerity Marriage is a bond between two souls. Sex is not the only way to keep your marital life safe. Marriage and love have some untold and unwritten conditions. We all have to obey these conditions. 1. Belief 2. Dedication 3. Unconditional love for each other 4. Respect 5. Understanding 6. Humanity 7. Sense of Humor 8. Caring Mentality 9. Patience 10. Truth and Transparency 11. Sexual prowess

Mutual respect is a pillar of a happy marriage and a pleasurable conjugal life. Even when you’re angry, express yourself through the prism of respect. Respect allows you to avoid situations where one of the partners feels that the other is manipulating and putting pressure on them. You can do it easily when you respect yourself. So, self-respect is the first step towards mutual respect.

Nobody is without flaws. A complete man or woman is rare in today's world. They may be found in your fantasy, the filmic world, or romantic stories. So, try to keep yourself happy with what you get. Remember that we all make mistakes. Misunderstandings and hurt are inevitable in any relationship. If a couple cannot feel for each other or can’t forgive one another, then over time the relationship will collapse under the burden of accumulated grievances. Stop comparing your partner with other people’s husbands and wives, especially someone next door. Don’t compare your partner with your virtual friends or friends in real life. This goes for both in your thoughts and out loud.

Remember that people often like to show not their reality but their desired picture of life and relationships. So when other husbands shower their ladies with money, take them to expensive restaurants, or buy them gifts, it’s most likely false. Even if they do, it does not necessarily mean that those couples are happy.

A caring mentality is a good quality that enriches your conjugal relationship. If both of you have leisure time, spend it with your partner. Don’t show you that I'm busy working on a laptop, in the kitchen, or on social networking sites. Respond to your partner’s will. Pass the time by listening to music, watching movies, chatting, or role-playing with him/her. 

Another word to remember It is sex. Sex plays a vital role in some special moments. It keeps your marital life intact and pleasurable. Always take care of yourself and take care of your partner’s mental and physical health. People love to see what is attractive. Stay fit and healthy. Think about the way you look when you’re in front of your partner, even at home. A well-built body is the first step to "good sex." Your pleasing personality helps you go ahead with confidence. This rule applies to both men and women. Everyone speaks their own language of love. Yours may differ from the love language of your partner. Speaking of love, he may manifest it with words of support and praise, perhaps with touch and care, or even with material things like gifts. Each of us has a language of love. Whatever your partner’s love language is, learn it and use it.

Parenthood is all about being selflessly there for your children, but it will be a mistake if you sacrifice your marriage for it. First, if children are all you need in the world, that is bad, especially for your child. Second, a married couple is the center of the family. And third, one day, the children will grow up and leave your house. When you two are left on your own and find yourself with common ground and history, maybe you will see that nothing is left of your marriage, just a person you’re not that fond of anymore. Ask yourself if you really want this to happen.

Give your partner a space of his or her own. It’s your partner’s personal property. Avoid peeping or intruding into your partner’s personal world or beliefs. Things you should never try to change are bad habits, religious views, relationships with parents, hobbies, the way they see the world, and what they make their priorities. Try to respect others' views. But a good thing to do is to create mutual family habits and traditions that everyone will find pleasing.

Try to avoid phrases like "If this continues, I will leave you." And never say the word "divorce." If you are going to say it, then be ready to go and see a lawyer. Don’t crawl back on your knees later with the words, "I did not mean it." Your partner might suddenly say, "Fine." Leave."

Such phrases, often said in anger, are not forgotten. Even after you make up, it will only increase the chances of an actual divorce.

Learn when and where to put your foot down. It helps you maintain a good relationship between husband and wife. You may be angry, or you may be tempted to insult your partners. If you feel that you can’t control yourself, take a break, take a deep breath, and go for a walk. Just don't use it to punish your partner with isolative isolation. Tell them that you will return to the conversation when you have calmed down. And by all means, keep your word.

Talk less and listen more. It will make a great lover for your wife. Don’t promise something if you can’t keep your word. If you promise to do something, please try to complete it. Though it’s not a big matter, if you break your promises several times, you make yourself a loser to your wife.

Never, ever speak negatively about your partner to others, not to your mother. not even to your friends. After your quarrel, you will forget everything and forgive each other, but your mother and girlfriends will not. That is when your partner will remain in a negative light for them, and they will treat him or her badly. When things are really difficult, first have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. If you really must share with someone else, contact a family psychologist.

To be continued...